When we worked as family teachers at BoysTown, we were required to take the kids to the churches on campus, so we rarely had the opportunity to attend our church off campus. A week or so after going through a devastating miscarriage, I was longing to go to our church and feel comforted and to worship as best I could in my fragile state. I went alone and got settled in near the back, and soon realized that it happened to be a Sunday where all the new babies were being dedicated. Watching a dozen families holding their tiny, pink infants on stage was like a fresh stab to my already broken heart and I wept silently from my seat. Soon after, the congregation sang Matt Redman's "Blessed Be Your Name", and while I was unable to sing, those words became more significant to me than I can express. I began to realize what it is to have a heart of thankfulness always; not 'for' the difficult stuff, but 'in' it. On that day, my heart was broken as only a mom's can be when her child dies inside of her, but I somehow understood that God loved me still and allowed this to happen for a purpose.
Today, over five years later, we sang "Blessed Be Your Name" and my thoughts were on how God gives and takes away, and how there is indeed pain in the offering of our praise. But today, more than that, my heart was full with the sun shining down on me. My world, with all of its unknowns and gaping absences, still felt 'as it should be', and I praised God for all of the people He has placed in my life to care for me and my family.
I haven't had a dance party in my dining room for a good long time. Anyone?
OHHHH I would SO love to bring my girls down for some 'crazy dancin'.. Jorie still needs a good lesson!
ReplyDeleteAnd very glad to hear you were well taken care of today.. Such a blessing to have a community of friends to love on you..
Maybe there is a hidden reason why Blessed Be Your Name has always been one of Tony's favorites. Maybe its his connection to his little sister. Sending many hugs to you tonight!
Cody said, "Wow, thank you. Oh, that puts a lot of pressure on for next week!" Seriously, thank you for your kind words...I know I'm mixing media...it's awesome for us to see how God works and uses the music. It really feels like a privilege to watch it all unfold!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy your small group took care of you so well today! It's not hard to see why, though! Our family really loves you all--our kids can't quit talking about Ronan and Cedahlia! We pray for protection for "Ronan's dad the soldier" every night and often during the day.
We'll be right over for the dance party! Remember the belly dance classes you took oh so long ago and tried to teach Carrie and I...we just ended up laughing the whole time! Maybe we should try again!
You are a lovely person. Feeling grateful, as always, to call you a friend. I felt just as you did when I had a miscarriage. I praise God everyday that I now have three beautiful children. Blessed Be Your Name has always been a favorite of mine. I pray I will always be equipped to stand firm in times of trial and never forget His precious love during the "good" times in my life on earth. Love you, dear friend. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments- they mean more than you know!
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